Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Podcastapocalypse

The Missouri Review's most recent podcast is a short interview with me regarding my story, Loeka Discovered.

My having participated in a podcast sort of complicates the fact that I don't know what one is. But my best guess is that all you Seth-heads who have been dying to cast me onto your pods are in luck.

Some points of interest that may enhance your listening enjoyment:

1.)In my brief snippets of audio, try to count how many times I say like, sort of, kind of, and a bunch of other things that are extremely similar to like, sort of, and kind of.

2.)In one part of my interview, I sort of, like, suggest that there isn't any use of scene in my story. Later, Speer Morgan, in the most diplomatic way possible, points out that I don't really know what I'm talking about.

So don't worry, Seth-heads! There is some use of scene in my story. I just meant that there's not any super, detail-rich scene-ish scene. That having been said, I'm still relatively certain that I don't know what I'm talking about.

3.)It may be interesting to know that, while listening to this, I skipped over that normal stage of self-consciousness in which a person says, "My voice doesn't sound like that! Does it?" Instead, I immediately launched into a bout of self-hate at the atomic level, in which I perceived my most basic elements to be intrinsically evil and wrong. Plus, I know for a fact that my voice doesn't sound like that.

4.)Everyone at The Missouri Review rules (special thanks to Caitlin Garing for conducting the interview, and to Speer Mogan for his kind words), and I'm honored they took the time to put this together. Also, my beverage of choice during the interview was a can of 7-UP that I stole from a mini-fridge in the Mid-American Review office. That same office may have also incurred the cost of a long distance call to Columbia, Missouri.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Paper Whistle Art Shop

Before I tell you about the new Paper Whistle blog and art shop, I have to take a moment to congratulate my blog on its new, cleaner, cooler design, which I am 0% responsible for (it is the handiwork of the matchless Brent Van Horne). Also, I would like to apologize for the new recipe feature, which I am 100% responsible for, and which, despite all the evidence against it, I refuse to think is not awesome. You can expect more absurdist recipes in the weeks and months to come.

But on to more pressing matters: artist Brandi Strickland has started a new art shop and blog (linked above) along with designer Robert Bentley. The site looks amazing, and there's tons of great art up. I urge you to take a look. I'm pretty sure I've blogged about Brandi Strickland's art before, but, if you weren't paying attention, you should really check it out. Her work is brilliant, playful, and boundlessly cool.

Also, if you join their newsletter, you have a chance to win a free print each month. This month, it's a print called Everything That Can Be Counted, an awesome piece that shows Albert Einstein looking uncharacteristically thoughtful.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Recipes: Volume I

Graham Cracker Soup
1.) Combine the following in a 15 gallon pot:
-Five gallons condensed milk
-Three cans tomato paste
-One pound chopped celery
-One whole, uncut cantalope
-Two ice cream sandwhiches
2.) Bring the contents of the pot to a rolling boil for 30 minutes, stirring continuously. Every 5 minutes, drop in one handful of dimes.
3.)Drop to one knee. Find your reflection in the side of the pot and scream at it in a purposeless rage.
4.)It is time to add the following to the pot:
-One tropical fish
-Two pictures of your father wearing a costume
-Five reams of paper
5.)Reduce heat and allow the contents of the pot to congeal.
6.)Crumble one graham cracker over the contents of the pot.
7.)Pour the contents of the pot into one business size envelope, and enjoy!
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Garbage Raisins
1.)Drop one whole box of unopened raisins into a garbage can.
2.)Keep a detailed log of anyone who looks down into the garbage can at the raisins, or who tries to take them out.
3.)If anyone asks you what you’re doing, tell the truth.