Friday, April 6, 2012

First Annual Seth Fried FUN-raiser for Funds

Being Seth Fried has always been a service that I have offered to the world completely free of charge. This is something that I have been more than happy to do. After all, with the exception of my monthly bath, being Seth Fried is lots of fun. However, it is also not without its costs. Every day I have to struggle under the financial burden of paying for food, shelter, clothing, and my obsessive desire to crash rental cars.

That is why I am excited to announce my First Annual Seth Fried FUN-raiser for Funds. This is a chance for all the people who actively enjoy me to show their appreciation. Participants can choose from the list of donation levels below and then send me the money using whatever electronic transfer service they prefer.

DONATION LEVELS 

$5
Neutral Acquaintance

$10
Stranger With Kind Eyes

$20
Well-wisher

$30
Concubine

$40
"Friend"

$50
Friend

$75
Friend With Benefits

$100
Pretend Uncle

$200
Pretend Uncle With Benefits

$300
Pontiff

$350
Unstoppable Robot Pontiff

$500
Seth's Angel

$700
Seth's Golden Angel

$1,000
Demoniclops The Angel Crusher

$5,000
Godzilla's Father

$10,000
Sex Genius

$50,000
Colleague

$100,000
Platinum Colleague With Benefits

$1,000,000
Higgs Boson