Thursday, April 26, 2012

Animalcula Wins Pushcart Prize

Put on your good news helmets, kids! I just found out that an excerpt from The Great Frustration, which originally appeared in The Kenyon Review, has been selected for a Pushcart Prize.

The story is called Animalcula. You can learn more about its appearance in The Kenyon Review here. This is my second Pushcart win, the first being for Frost Mountain Picnic Massacre in 2011.

Both Pushcart stories are included in The Great Frustration, along with several other stories which have not won Pushcart Prizes and which should therefore be ignored or, even better, RIPPED FROM THE BINDING.

Friday, April 13, 2012

The Importance of Being Affected

The Open Bar
It's time for the second installment of Das Kolumne, my monthly feature for Tin House. This month I look at the important history of writerly affectations in an essay that is very serious and well-written.

Other topics covered:

-The two types of polygamy
-Cosmetic back braces
-Owl urine
-Robert Frost's bee sting addiction
-Etc.

 Read it here.

Friday, April 6, 2012

First Annual Seth Fried FUN-raiser for Funds

Being Seth Fried has always been a service that I have offered to the world completely free of charge. This is something that I have been more than happy to do. After all, with the exception of my monthly bath, being Seth Fried is lots of fun. However, it is also not without its costs. Every day I have to struggle under the financial burden of paying for food, shelter, clothing, and my obsessive desire to crash rental cars.

That is why I am excited to announce my First Annual Seth Fried FUN-raiser for Funds. This is a chance for all the people who actively enjoy me to show their appreciation. Participants can choose from the list of donation levels below and then send me the money using whatever electronic transfer service they prefer.

DONATION LEVELS 

$5
Neutral Acquaintance

$10
Stranger With Kind Eyes

$20
Well-wisher

$30
Concubine

$40
"Friend"

$50
Friend

$75
Friend With Benefits

$100
Pretend Uncle

$200
Pretend Uncle With Benefits

$300
Pontiff

$350
Unstoppable Robot Pontiff

$500
Seth's Angel

$700
Seth's Golden Angel

$1,000
Demoniclops The Angel Crusher

$5,000
Godzilla's Father

$10,000
Sex Genius

$50,000
Colleague

$100,000
Platinum Colleague With Benefits

$1,000,000
Higgs Boson